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The Adoption Interview -- YIKES

September 1st, 2006 at 07:29 am

OT, but related to an earlier post--
Well, the check I was worried about earlier still has not come in. I have no idea what is going on, so I think I will have to call the hospital. Thankfully I have plenty of money in the account to pay for it now.
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My husband and I are going through the process of adopting, and we had our first home study appointment last night. It was a joint interview that lasted about three hours and asked everything you could imagine about us, our marriage, our lifestyle, our parenting philosophy, and our financial situation.

The embarrassing part -- when she asked how much money we have left over each month, I didn't really know! August has been so crazy, and we have been so off-budget, that all I could do was guess. I explained that we (unexpectedly) had our two nieces for one week, then our nephew for another, we had an out-of-state funeral, had to buy a new (used) care because ours died (paid cash), and we also had our vacation in August. Oh, and we make very little money right now. I told her that I automatically had $62.50 per paycheck put into our ING account, along with whatever was left from my husband's paycheck every other week. I knew every one of our bills. We prepaid our car insurance, we have life insurance, etc.

We were very concerned that, making so little money, we might not be considered qualified to adopt. Well, she was actually very complimentary about first, our conscious decision to live as we do, second, about the fact that we knew what our bills were, and third, that we believed in saving money in an emergency fund. Although we are very financially depleted due to the crazy month of August, she said it was clear that we understood financial management, and knowing that what we went through in August didn't put us in debt or into an emergency situation, it was obvious that we were financially okay. She also said that she does home studies with people who make a lot more than us, and who have NO savings at all, and have huge credit card debt (we have none). We felt really good after the interview.

So I guess the whole 'it's not what you make, it's what you save' really does count. :-)

8 Responses to “The Adoption Interview -- YIKES”

  1. homebody Says:

    Good luck!

  2. Thrifty Ray Says:

    That must have made you both feel great!! My best wishes to you on your adoption...there is some child out there who is going to be very, very lucky! Please let us know how its going!!

  3. freeme journey Says:

    Well done - I have adopted - my daughter is nearly 7yrs old. Have you thought of international adoption. Take a look at www.tlc.org.za - they do wonderful work in placing children that have nowhere to go and they are in desparate need of willing, stable and loving parents. This organisation is used to doing International Adoptions.
    Ah gee I have just checked their website and see they are only doing international placements to Europe - Sorry I thought I could help.
    But have a look anyway.
    I hope adoption works out the way it has for me - it is such a wonderful Blessing

  4. freeme journey Says:

    Click through The Little People, then In Adoptive Families, then South Africa, then look for Emma (Cara) there is a picture of us there.
    Bronwyn

  5. melissalt Says:

    Thanks for your good wishes, and I'm sure that I'll be writing about it more -- things like how do I afford a pre-teen daughter, and she's trying to wear WHAT!!! :-)

    Aw, freeme, your daughter is a doll in that picture! When you think what a big difference one person can make in the life of a child, it's almost a little scary. I hope I have the same good fortune as you, and not the trials and tribulations others have experienced with an adopted child.

  6. freeme journey Says:

    Yup we are truly happy together - I think part of our success is that DD came home to me when she was only 3 months old so she doesn't know any other mom or have a "history" per se.
    Goodluck

  7. Jose Rivera Says:

    I hope your adotion process goes well. We are in the middle of the process (Waiting for the moment to get that phone call) and I have to say that sometimes people forget the impact on their financials that adoption can do. I am sure is all worth it.!

    Good Luck

  8. melissalt Says:

    I can't wait until we get to that point! My husband just had his individual interview, and mine is scheduled for next week. I also begin my foster/adoptive training next week. It's becoming more and more real. :-)

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